I am an Asportual male, too

Perhaps not as bad as Zeno, but close.
At least I used to watch, when I was a kid, whenever Yugoslav national teams in various sports played at big international competitions like Olympics, World Championships and European Championships. I watched Red Star soccer team demolish all of its European and World competition back in 1990. I watched Jausovec, Zivojinovic, Seles and Ivanisevic at Wimbledon and French Open.
Perhaps there is a difference between inter-club competition and international competition and in the USA nobody cares about international competition. Since I never watched anything ‘domestic’ (e.g., the Yugoslav soccer league matches), I guess I would have been a complete Asportual male if I was growing up in the States as well (I just happened to hear that NCSU beat UNC in basketball today – a fact that I can report with no emotions whatsoever although I am an NCSU alum and I live in Chapel Hill – and that there is something really big in sports happening tomorrow so I have to be worried about traffic if I need to drive somewhere).
On the other hand, since I was myself practicing and competing in karate and equestrian sports at one point or another, I watched much more of those sports at all levels, from local to international and everything in between. But there, when you are inside a sport, you actually personally know many competitors – you probably had beer with them many times, etc. It is a different ball-game altogether.