Allan Stewart Konigsberg was born at Brooklyn, New York on this day in 1935. By age fifteen he was selling one-liners to New York gossip columnists. He dropped out of college and sold jokes to several prominent comics of the day, and started doing standup comedy himself in 1960. Five years later, under the name Woody Allen, he wrote and acted in “What’s New, Pussycat?”.
All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates.
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead – not sick, not wounded – dead.
If it bends, it’s funny; if it breaks, it’s not funny.
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.
You can live to be 100 if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be 100.
– All from Woody Allen
From Quotes of the Day